During my professional career each place I have worked has run a solid birthday party business. Where I work, we have a pool, kids like to swim...easy money and a way to keep the building busy on the weekends.
I am working this Saturday and am already preparing myself for the birthday party madness. Yes, madness. I hate birthday parties and I'll tell you why.
First, I don't understand why anyone would have a birthday party at a location other than your house. Yes, I get clean-up as a valid argument but going to a location just means you need more eyes to make sure a child doesn't kill themselves or go missing.
Second, I don't understand why anyone would have a birthday party at a location for anyone under the age of eight. People, I have seen the biggest birthday parties for kids turning one and I just don't get it. That kid doesn't need all those presents and they are certainly not going to remember their first birthday. Do you? No you don't.
Third, I don't understand the amount of food that people bring to a location birthday party. You are going swimming. You don't need to eat like you are going to the electric chair before jumping in. Actually, we rather you didn't. The amount of food I have seen people bring is disgusting; or maybe it's the mess they made...actually scratch that, it's both things.
Fourth, I don't understand adults at a child birthday party. I have seen multiple parties where there are no more than 10 children but there are 50 adults. I'm sorry but I'm not chillin' at a kids birthday party. I have other things to do. Like drink.
Fifth, I've never had a birthday party.
Oh, you say! There it is, this is why you hate birthday parties. Not it at all. I guess I should rephrase that I never had a birthday party at a location. My birthdays were also just myself and my closest friends at home. My mom would make her famous veggie pizza and a cake and we would watch movies and play games. What happened to those types of birthday parties? Why does everything have to have so much glitz and glamour?
Not to offend anyone that reads my blog, but I hate large parties. I really did not want to have a bridal shower. If I ever have a baby, I will NOT have a baby shower. I don't do big parties. I don't want the fanfare and the expense. What I want is for people to come spend some quality time with me in a chill environment.
Now...I did like my wedding party. Although our wedding was very small compared to most weddings. Just how I like it.
Why does everything have to be so complicated and expensive? Dude, just come over. Invite yourself over if you want to spend time with us. We do not have children, we don't get having children. We have all the free time in the world (unless I'm working) so you have to come to us. Sorry about it. That's the way it is. I'm tired of driving across the State of Ohio. We live in a cool ass city. You now come to us.
Man. I'm snarky today.
Alright let me wrap this one up. Yes I miss people. Yes I want to see people. No I do not want it to be a big deal. I'm tired of being the one to reach out and drive all over creation. I've had a big year. New job, big move...I'm ready for people to come to us because you know what? We are really awesome and we live around awesome things.
So come visits. Or don't.
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