Yesterday I went to a long awaited appointment to see a highly sought endocrinologist. The long struggle with getting an accurate diagnosis of Hashimotos Thyroditis took a painful five years. Since finally getting an answer in 2009 I have continuously struggled with several extreme issues with no resolve: chronic fatigue, unexplainable weight gain, hair loss, easy bruising, depression and anxiety, dry skin, balance issues...the list goes on.
Imagine my excitement to be finally going to a very large and notable hospital to see one of the top endocringologist docs in our Nation. This doctor sees my father and he and my stepmom dote on the greatness and wonderfulness of this doctor. Finally I thought...someone is going to believe me...finally more answers.
Yesterday was not the transcendent experience I so desperately have been seeking. Instead I left feeling defeated and heartbroken.
Another doctor that does not believe a word I say about my diet and exercise. This doctor took his advice to a whole new level and asked me if I had considered bariatric surgery.
Now all I can think and feel is my god I must be so freaking huge and I don't even know it? I can't workout any harder; well I could but I've been there done that and it's not healthy. I'm not going to eat, as this doctor suggested, 800 calories per day as I know that is extremely unhealthy. I have done all the calculations, I know my caloric range and I record it daily. I can squat 200lbs, I can bench 110lbs, I can deadlift 175lbs, I can run half marathons, I can do yoga poses that defy gravity, I have an active job, my husband can attest that I barely sit still at home unless I'm sleeping...which is what I have to do when I'm not working because I'M EXHAUSTED ALL THE TIME.
I am ready to give up. What does it matter? Why not just become the fat lazy slob every doctor thinks that I am. I'd certainly have more fun eating donuts everyday than counting calories and making sure I get the right percentages of carbs, protein, and fat.
I should have stood up for myself, but I didn't. I have tried to call and leave this doctor a voicemail to tell him how inappropriate his comment was to me and how much damage he has caused...but apparently the line is "busy."
Now I have to figure out how to get over such a hurtful experience. How do I pick my self-esteem and confidence up of the floor after this? No...I'm not throwing in the towel. I'm not made that way. I'm just tired of working so damn hard and no one believing me...no positive results for positive reinforcements. All I can remember to do is feel guilty for eating anything at all, or when eating being sure to vomit, and exercising till I drop. After all, that was the only way I was able to lose amount of weight, ever.
Please. Let's not focus on what I can do, doctor. You don't believe me. Fuck you.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
A Head Start
The concept of young children (ages 2-3) going to preschool is very odd to me. The only preschool I had was Head Start the year before kindergarten. I LOVED Head Start.
If you do not know, Head Start is a preschool for poor people. All the kids in my class had similar family and financial situations as my mom and I did. I would like to say that leveled the playing field but it really didn't. It operated as normal preschools I suppose. There was a "rich," popular girl, a smelly kid, a weird kid, a dumb kid, bunch of nondescript kids, and me the redheaded kid. Sad to say there were even "cliques" in head start, but they existed. If that was happening in the 80s I shudder to think about preschools today.
I believe a day went like this:
Bus picked me up, first part of the day was learning and singing, then we had lunch, the recess, then more lessons, and bus ride home.
I have always been a big fan of recess. We always had recess indoors. I remember the wooden monkey bars that had to illegal because let me tell you it was not very sturdy. I remember it falling completely on top of a kid named Kenny. He had really curly hair and always had snot coming out of his nose. I didn't like him very much...but I digress. There were tricycles and blocks...the usual. We also had parties like normal preschools.
I can remember our Christmas party that happened 29 years ago. I am sure that the organization solicited donations to give all of us kids a good Christmas. Santa even came to give us our gifts. That was pretty exciting! That movie Elf has it right, everyone screams SANTA when you see the big guy. Our parents were there and we had a Christmas lunch. Seems totally normal right? Wrong. The thing that made this a disaster is that not all the gifts were created equal.
This was back in the rage of Cabbage Patch kids. I can't remember exactly how many girls there were in my class but all of us got this tiny Cabbage Patch that had Velcro on in and had a house thing... and there was one regular sized Cabbage Patch that went to....the "rich" girl.
It's so crazy that I remember this and remember how all of the rest of us girls cried. It wasn't fair and honestly it really wasn't. I firmly believe in the concept that in a large group setting kids must be treated equal. I also firmly believe that if one kid fucks everything up, that it ruins it for everyone. We have to teach kids how to function in a group, how to behave, how to share, how to treat their peers as equals.
So if you are having a little kid Christmas party...remember to make it equal. Some of them will remember this shit.
If you do not know, Head Start is a preschool for poor people. All the kids in my class had similar family and financial situations as my mom and I did. I would like to say that leveled the playing field but it really didn't. It operated as normal preschools I suppose. There was a "rich," popular girl, a smelly kid, a weird kid, a dumb kid, bunch of nondescript kids, and me the redheaded kid. Sad to say there were even "cliques" in head start, but they existed. If that was happening in the 80s I shudder to think about preschools today.
I believe a day went like this:
Bus picked me up, first part of the day was learning and singing, then we had lunch, the recess, then more lessons, and bus ride home.
I have always been a big fan of recess. We always had recess indoors. I remember the wooden monkey bars that had to illegal because let me tell you it was not very sturdy. I remember it falling completely on top of a kid named Kenny. He had really curly hair and always had snot coming out of his nose. I didn't like him very much...but I digress. There were tricycles and blocks...the usual. We also had parties like normal preschools.
I can remember our Christmas party that happened 29 years ago. I am sure that the organization solicited donations to give all of us kids a good Christmas. Santa even came to give us our gifts. That was pretty exciting! That movie Elf has it right, everyone screams SANTA when you see the big guy. Our parents were there and we had a Christmas lunch. Seems totally normal right? Wrong. The thing that made this a disaster is that not all the gifts were created equal.
This was back in the rage of Cabbage Patch kids. I can't remember exactly how many girls there were in my class but all of us got this tiny Cabbage Patch that had Velcro on in and had a house thing... and there was one regular sized Cabbage Patch that went to....the "rich" girl.
It's so crazy that I remember this and remember how all of the rest of us girls cried. It wasn't fair and honestly it really wasn't. I firmly believe in the concept that in a large group setting kids must be treated equal. I also firmly believe that if one kid fucks everything up, that it ruins it for everyone. We have to teach kids how to function in a group, how to behave, how to share, how to treat their peers as equals.
So if you are having a little kid Christmas party...remember to make it equal. Some of them will remember this shit.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Yes You Can
Do you know what I hate about this time of year? All of the fitness magazines posting how many minutes you need to exercise to burn off thanksgiving fare.
Dudes. Your body does actually need calories to function. For most of us, we need at least 2,000 calories a day to stay alive. OMG your slice of pie has 250 calories, perspective please! Once again here we are making people feel guilty for EATING. Thanksgiving dinners do not have to be outrageous, and if you do splurge, it's one day. I think I have a better message for you to follow.
1. Keep your exercise schedule. I know this is a tough one with family and friends to visit but you will thank yourself if you can keep your schedule going. Try to find ways to make fitness family time too. Take a walk, take extra laps around the store while shopping, have a Wii Fitness Challenge, or my new favorite have a Planksgiving Contest! Who can hold a plank the longest?
2. Stay Hydrated. Be sure to keep drinking lots of water! Especially when it gets cold we tend to ignore our thirst and then our thirst often gets mistaken for hunger. Take a bottle of water with you everywhere and try to fill it up 8 times each day.
3. Snack Smart. Decide what you are looking most forward to indulging in on Thanksgiving Day. Then make a plan to snack smart the rest of the time. Stick to veggies and low-fat snacks so that you can enjoy Thanksgiving day without giving extra calories a second thought.
4. Find time to be Grateful. It’s what the season is all about! Just think…how awesome is it that you are able to have Thanksgiving dinner? That you have family and friends! What else can you write down? Make a list and find time to reflect each day.
5. Nice Matters. Here comes crazy traffic and crazy lines everywhere you go. It’s easy to get irritated at the wrong people. Try to do as many good deeds as you can when you are out and about. Let someone in that is trying to turn left, let someone with only a few items go ahead of you in line, say thank you to the cashier, give a stranger a compliment, and share lots of smiles.
Dudes. Your body does actually need calories to function. For most of us, we need at least 2,000 calories a day to stay alive. OMG your slice of pie has 250 calories, perspective please! Once again here we are making people feel guilty for EATING. Thanksgiving dinners do not have to be outrageous, and if you do splurge, it's one day. I think I have a better message for you to follow.
1. Keep your exercise schedule. I know this is a tough one with family and friends to visit but you will thank yourself if you can keep your schedule going. Try to find ways to make fitness family time too. Take a walk, take extra laps around the store while shopping, have a Wii Fitness Challenge, or my new favorite have a Planksgiving Contest! Who can hold a plank the longest?
2. Stay Hydrated. Be sure to keep drinking lots of water! Especially when it gets cold we tend to ignore our thirst and then our thirst often gets mistaken for hunger. Take a bottle of water with you everywhere and try to fill it up 8 times each day.
3. Snack Smart. Decide what you are looking most forward to indulging in on Thanksgiving Day. Then make a plan to snack smart the rest of the time. Stick to veggies and low-fat snacks so that you can enjoy Thanksgiving day without giving extra calories a second thought.
4. Find time to be Grateful. It’s what the season is all about! Just think…how awesome is it that you are able to have Thanksgiving dinner? That you have family and friends! What else can you write down? Make a list and find time to reflect each day.
5. Nice Matters. Here comes crazy traffic and crazy lines everywhere you go. It’s easy to get irritated at the wrong people. Try to do as many good deeds as you can when you are out and about. Let someone in that is trying to turn left, let someone with only a few items go ahead of you in line, say thank you to the cashier, give a stranger a compliment, and share lots of smiles.
It's time for fitness professionals to speak the language of what you CAN do, not what you CAN'T do. And yes my friends, you CAN enjoy Thanksgiving dinner.
d
I
Monday, November 24, 2014
The Number Game
I've been doing a lot of soul searching since I went to a fitness conference in Chicago in October. I am not your "typical" fitness person. Don't get me wrong, I am fit and healthy I just don't look like I spend four hours in the gym everyday. I struggle with this a lot.
I don't want to look like I workout four hours a day because that's not me and I think those types of fitness people are usually: a. crazy, b. egotistical, c. fitness stupid, d. rude. Fitness professionals that are "cut", I feel, are super intimidating to the general public. I think a lot of my success is related to the fact that people can connect to me because I look and act like an average person. This is where my struggle begins.
I am very fit but I don't think I look like it. When I tell people what I do I feel like a fraud since I do not look like a typical fitness professional.
When I was at the conference in Chicago it really hit me just how non-typical I am in this field. When I teach I'm not there for my own workout. I'm not trying to be super fitness lady up at the front of the room doing crazy air jacks. (I do not think that going all out while teaching motivates the people you are there to help; it is only going to make them intimidated.) I want people to have success during my class so they keep coming back. It's not about me; not even a little bit.
In my opinion most instructors these days are there to teach first and foremost for themselves. Some of the things instructors wear to class is ridiculous; not to mention the people that teach in full make-up. Why? Let your teaching skills and knowledge impress your students. If you only have the look, sorry, but you are not a fitness professional and you are doing so much harm to this field and your participants. Rant over.
I've been a avid yogi for about 15 years. At this fitness conference I felt a very strong pull towards taking my yoga practice deeper, which I have done since October. I love the way yoga makes me feel and I love the internal work it does for my mind. I'm a better person when I have time on my mat. Yet...here again... I'm not your typical yoga instructor.
And maybe that's ok.
I struggle with eating and exercise every day. Whenever I eat, I feel guilty and I'm tired of it. Whenever I take a day off exercise I feel guilty and I'm tired of it.
Maybe this weight and size is just who I am and I need to finally accept it. This is where my head is at currently. I just want to eat and exercise like a normal healthy person. I want to have energy to do things beside exercise. I want to stop wasting my energy worrying about what I look like and what I weigh. I want to stop wasting my energy trying to make people like me.
This is who I am. I'm a slightly overweight fitness professional. I can run a half-marathon. I can leg press 300lbs. I can do some crazy yoga postures. I can teach a Zumba class and not get winded. I love to eat and I love to drink. I work hard and I play hard.
Why is there anything wrong with any of that? There's nothing wrong with any of that. That's what I'm trying to tell myself. That's what I want the world to understand. There is so much more to health and fitness than numbers. I'm tired of playing the number game.
I don't want to look like I workout four hours a day because that's not me and I think those types of fitness people are usually: a. crazy, b. egotistical, c. fitness stupid, d. rude. Fitness professionals that are "cut", I feel, are super intimidating to the general public. I think a lot of my success is related to the fact that people can connect to me because I look and act like an average person. This is where my struggle begins.
I am very fit but I don't think I look like it. When I tell people what I do I feel like a fraud since I do not look like a typical fitness professional.
When I was at the conference in Chicago it really hit me just how non-typical I am in this field. When I teach I'm not there for my own workout. I'm not trying to be super fitness lady up at the front of the room doing crazy air jacks. (I do not think that going all out while teaching motivates the people you are there to help; it is only going to make them intimidated.) I want people to have success during my class so they keep coming back. It's not about me; not even a little bit.
In my opinion most instructors these days are there to teach first and foremost for themselves. Some of the things instructors wear to class is ridiculous; not to mention the people that teach in full make-up. Why? Let your teaching skills and knowledge impress your students. If you only have the look, sorry, but you are not a fitness professional and you are doing so much harm to this field and your participants. Rant over.
I've been a avid yogi for about 15 years. At this fitness conference I felt a very strong pull towards taking my yoga practice deeper, which I have done since October. I love the way yoga makes me feel and I love the internal work it does for my mind. I'm a better person when I have time on my mat. Yet...here again... I'm not your typical yoga instructor.
And maybe that's ok.
I struggle with eating and exercise every day. Whenever I eat, I feel guilty and I'm tired of it. Whenever I take a day off exercise I feel guilty and I'm tired of it.
Maybe this weight and size is just who I am and I need to finally accept it. This is where my head is at currently. I just want to eat and exercise like a normal healthy person. I want to have energy to do things beside exercise. I want to stop wasting my energy worrying about what I look like and what I weigh. I want to stop wasting my energy trying to make people like me.
This is who I am. I'm a slightly overweight fitness professional. I can run a half-marathon. I can leg press 300lbs. I can do some crazy yoga postures. I can teach a Zumba class and not get winded. I love to eat and I love to drink. I work hard and I play hard.
Why is there anything wrong with any of that? There's nothing wrong with any of that. That's what I'm trying to tell myself. That's what I want the world to understand. There is so much more to health and fitness than numbers. I'm tired of playing the number game.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Warm Fuzzies
Whenever it begins to get colder, I often think of my very first pet. It was a hamster.
My friend Caren had hamsters and I was in love with them. I'm not really sure how to all went down but all of a sudden my mom had taken me to a house where they apparently bred hamsters. I can remember this gigantic cage filled with hamsters. Seriously there were at least a hundred of them. I picked one out of the bunch (luck had it they also sold starter cages) and away we went.
I loved that hamster. It did not love me. Hamsters really are not that awesome of a pet.
My hamster had an unfortunate short life. Why I think about my first pet when it gets cold is because the room his cage was in did not have very much heat. He either froze to death or had a heart attack (the jury is still out if my mom had something to do with his early death; she hated it). My little heart was broken. I cried and cried and even stayed home from school that day to have a funeral. I buried him in an old hot pink pencil box, bundled in old wash cloths.
A few days after his untimely death I was coming home from school and noticed a couple of feral cats trying to dig up his grave. I freaked out. I made sure he was still in his plastic coffin and buried him deeper to save him from being eaten.
I have no idea why I ever wanted a hamster. They are pretty stupid and do not do anything; plus they smell bad. Growing up is weird.
I do think letting your kids help raise a pet can provide valuable lessons. It teaches them about service and unconditional love; even death and grieving.
In February, it will be seven years since we brought our cat-child home. I am coo-coo over this thing. She is like my child and I am completely obsessed with her. She has this awesome little personality and most days I can't get over that a living animal lives in our home. I love it. She knows when I'm sick and when I'm sad. She can be the sweetest little creature on earth. Don't get me wrong she is still a cat and can be a total bitch. I think that makes me love her even more.
I am forgetting the book title, but I feel like this cat is my animal spirit and that we connect. She understands me and I understand her. When her day comes I am going to need time off work. Thank goodness that is hopefully a long, long time away.
But seriously, how weird is it that we let animals live with us? They have a heart, lungs, blood, and a digestive system. Can you imagine me every having a kid? I would be a hot mess.
My friend Caren had hamsters and I was in love with them. I'm not really sure how to all went down but all of a sudden my mom had taken me to a house where they apparently bred hamsters. I can remember this gigantic cage filled with hamsters. Seriously there were at least a hundred of them. I picked one out of the bunch (luck had it they also sold starter cages) and away we went.
I loved that hamster. It did not love me. Hamsters really are not that awesome of a pet.
My hamster had an unfortunate short life. Why I think about my first pet when it gets cold is because the room his cage was in did not have very much heat. He either froze to death or had a heart attack (the jury is still out if my mom had something to do with his early death; she hated it). My little heart was broken. I cried and cried and even stayed home from school that day to have a funeral. I buried him in an old hot pink pencil box, bundled in old wash cloths.
A few days after his untimely death I was coming home from school and noticed a couple of feral cats trying to dig up his grave. I freaked out. I made sure he was still in his plastic coffin and buried him deeper to save him from being eaten.
I have no idea why I ever wanted a hamster. They are pretty stupid and do not do anything; plus they smell bad. Growing up is weird.
I do think letting your kids help raise a pet can provide valuable lessons. It teaches them about service and unconditional love; even death and grieving.
In February, it will be seven years since we brought our cat-child home. I am coo-coo over this thing. She is like my child and I am completely obsessed with her. She has this awesome little personality and most days I can't get over that a living animal lives in our home. I love it. She knows when I'm sick and when I'm sad. She can be the sweetest little creature on earth. Don't get me wrong she is still a cat and can be a total bitch. I think that makes me love her even more.
I am forgetting the book title, but I feel like this cat is my animal spirit and that we connect. She understands me and I understand her. When her day comes I am going to need time off work. Thank goodness that is hopefully a long, long time away.
But seriously, how weird is it that we let animals live with us? They have a heart, lungs, blood, and a digestive system. Can you imagine me every having a kid? I would be a hot mess.
Friday, November 21, 2014
The State of Our Union
During my professional career each place I have worked has run a solid birthday party business. Where I work, we have a pool, kids like to swim...easy money and a way to keep the building busy on the weekends.
I am working this Saturday and am already preparing myself for the birthday party madness. Yes, madness. I hate birthday parties and I'll tell you why.
First, I don't understand why anyone would have a birthday party at a location other than your house. Yes, I get clean-up as a valid argument but going to a location just means you need more eyes to make sure a child doesn't kill themselves or go missing.
Second, I don't understand why anyone would have a birthday party at a location for anyone under the age of eight. People, I have seen the biggest birthday parties for kids turning one and I just don't get it. That kid doesn't need all those presents and they are certainly not going to remember their first birthday. Do you? No you don't.
Third, I don't understand the amount of food that people bring to a location birthday party. You are going swimming. You don't need to eat like you are going to the electric chair before jumping in. Actually, we rather you didn't. The amount of food I have seen people bring is disgusting; or maybe it's the mess they made...actually scratch that, it's both things.
Fourth, I don't understand adults at a child birthday party. I have seen multiple parties where there are no more than 10 children but there are 50 adults. I'm sorry but I'm not chillin' at a kids birthday party. I have other things to do. Like drink.
Fifth, I've never had a birthday party.
Oh, you say! There it is, this is why you hate birthday parties. Not it at all. I guess I should rephrase that I never had a birthday party at a location. My birthdays were also just myself and my closest friends at home. My mom would make her famous veggie pizza and a cake and we would watch movies and play games. What happened to those types of birthday parties? Why does everything have to have so much glitz and glamour?
Not to offend anyone that reads my blog, but I hate large parties. I really did not want to have a bridal shower. If I ever have a baby, I will NOT have a baby shower. I don't do big parties. I don't want the fanfare and the expense. What I want is for people to come spend some quality time with me in a chill environment.
Now...I did like my wedding party. Although our wedding was very small compared to most weddings. Just how I like it.
Why does everything have to be so complicated and expensive? Dude, just come over. Invite yourself over if you want to spend time with us. We do not have children, we don't get having children. We have all the free time in the world (unless I'm working) so you have to come to us. Sorry about it. That's the way it is. I'm tired of driving across the State of Ohio. We live in a cool ass city. You now come to us.
Man. I'm snarky today.
Alright let me wrap this one up. Yes I miss people. Yes I want to see people. No I do not want it to be a big deal. I'm tired of being the one to reach out and drive all over creation. I've had a big year. New job, big move...I'm ready for people to come to us because you know what? We are really awesome and we live around awesome things.
So come visits. Or don't.
I am working this Saturday and am already preparing myself for the birthday party madness. Yes, madness. I hate birthday parties and I'll tell you why.
First, I don't understand why anyone would have a birthday party at a location other than your house. Yes, I get clean-up as a valid argument but going to a location just means you need more eyes to make sure a child doesn't kill themselves or go missing.
Second, I don't understand why anyone would have a birthday party at a location for anyone under the age of eight. People, I have seen the biggest birthday parties for kids turning one and I just don't get it. That kid doesn't need all those presents and they are certainly not going to remember their first birthday. Do you? No you don't.
Third, I don't understand the amount of food that people bring to a location birthday party. You are going swimming. You don't need to eat like you are going to the electric chair before jumping in. Actually, we rather you didn't. The amount of food I have seen people bring is disgusting; or maybe it's the mess they made...actually scratch that, it's both things.
Fourth, I don't understand adults at a child birthday party. I have seen multiple parties where there are no more than 10 children but there are 50 adults. I'm sorry but I'm not chillin' at a kids birthday party. I have other things to do. Like drink.
Fifth, I've never had a birthday party.
Oh, you say! There it is, this is why you hate birthday parties. Not it at all. I guess I should rephrase that I never had a birthday party at a location. My birthdays were also just myself and my closest friends at home. My mom would make her famous veggie pizza and a cake and we would watch movies and play games. What happened to those types of birthday parties? Why does everything have to have so much glitz and glamour?
Not to offend anyone that reads my blog, but I hate large parties. I really did not want to have a bridal shower. If I ever have a baby, I will NOT have a baby shower. I don't do big parties. I don't want the fanfare and the expense. What I want is for people to come spend some quality time with me in a chill environment.
Now...I did like my wedding party. Although our wedding was very small compared to most weddings. Just how I like it.
Why does everything have to be so complicated and expensive? Dude, just come over. Invite yourself over if you want to spend time with us. We do not have children, we don't get having children. We have all the free time in the world (unless I'm working) so you have to come to us. Sorry about it. That's the way it is. I'm tired of driving across the State of Ohio. We live in a cool ass city. You now come to us.
Man. I'm snarky today.
Alright let me wrap this one up. Yes I miss people. Yes I want to see people. No I do not want it to be a big deal. I'm tired of being the one to reach out and drive all over creation. I've had a big year. New job, big move...I'm ready for people to come to us because you know what? We are really awesome and we live around awesome things.
So come visits. Or don't.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
I Want You to Notice
As we approach the holiday of gratitude I find that my childhood revolved around simple pleasures. Many of these activities remain some of my fondest memories.
As we grow we stop being "noticers" of our surroundings. When we are young we are constantly being told to hurry up, come here, or stop doing that. Often times when little ones are moving slowly it's because they are noticing. Look at how green the grass is today. That cloud looks like a teddy bear. Did you see that purple flower? Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we could all slow down a bit to notice our world a bit more? I do.
I have always been a day dreamer. I love making stories up in my head. You can go anywhere and do anything without really moving at all. I often day dream to help myself fall asleep. When I had a commute to work I was always wrapped up in a alternate universe. Don't even get me started about running and day dreaming. It's a way to escape, it's a way to plan for the future, practice what to do in certain situations...I love it.
If anyone knows me, I'm made to go. Being idle drives me crazy. I always want to be thinking, creating, or doing. My mom has known this since I could walk. She was pretty awesome at taking my "noticing" ways and combing it with things to keep me on the go; while finding simple pleasures in our world.
Every Thanksgiving my mom and I would walk to Cherry Street park to collect items for our Cornucopia. I remember the brisk air. The smell of fallen leaves and walnuts. The squirrels chattering as they gathered for the winter. We would spend hours as she let me pick out the perfect leaves, pine cones, acorns, and the like for our centerpiece. We didn't have a traditional Cornucopia instead we used my Grimace Ronald McDonald plate; which was even better in my point of view.
I looked forward to our annual trip to Cherry Street park where I could hunt and forage for the things that I daydreamed would make the most beautiful Cornucopia in the world. This activity allowed my mom and I to spend time together, get fresh air and exercise, and it was free. Most importantly it drove my creativity and resourcefulness and it's a cherished memory that will last a lifetime.
Fast forward to today and everything is commercialized and it needs to stop. Do you know I went to the grocery store at 6am on the day OF Halloween and they already had up all their Christmas decorations? Don't you agree that everything was much more magical when the stores waited until after Thanksgiving to deck the halls. You know what's crazy? I bet we start seeing Valentine's Day candy the 1st of January. What kind of crazy is this?
I will be the first to tell you that I LOVE gifts. I especially love searching for and giving the perfect gift. If I ever give you gift, know that means a lot. But what about gifts that we can create? What about the homemade cards, notes, and Cornucopias? Why do we have to buy everything? What happened to walking and noticing a flower and picking it for the one you love? What happened to looking for the shapes in clouds? What happened to handwritten letters? Sometimes I think technology has gone to far. You know what? I miss the days of only have a home phone. I really hate being so connected to my phone.
So why do we stand for it? Why have we allowed ourselves to stop being noticers? I'd love to you to share what you stop to take time to notice today.
As we grow we stop being "noticers" of our surroundings. When we are young we are constantly being told to hurry up, come here, or stop doing that. Often times when little ones are moving slowly it's because they are noticing. Look at how green the grass is today. That cloud looks like a teddy bear. Did you see that purple flower? Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we could all slow down a bit to notice our world a bit more? I do.
I have always been a day dreamer. I love making stories up in my head. You can go anywhere and do anything without really moving at all. I often day dream to help myself fall asleep. When I had a commute to work I was always wrapped up in a alternate universe. Don't even get me started about running and day dreaming. It's a way to escape, it's a way to plan for the future, practice what to do in certain situations...I love it.
If anyone knows me, I'm made to go. Being idle drives me crazy. I always want to be thinking, creating, or doing. My mom has known this since I could walk. She was pretty awesome at taking my "noticing" ways and combing it with things to keep me on the go; while finding simple pleasures in our world.
Every Thanksgiving my mom and I would walk to Cherry Street park to collect items for our Cornucopia. I remember the brisk air. The smell of fallen leaves and walnuts. The squirrels chattering as they gathered for the winter. We would spend hours as she let me pick out the perfect leaves, pine cones, acorns, and the like for our centerpiece. We didn't have a traditional Cornucopia instead we used my Grimace Ronald McDonald plate; which was even better in my point of view.
I looked forward to our annual trip to Cherry Street park where I could hunt and forage for the things that I daydreamed would make the most beautiful Cornucopia in the world. This activity allowed my mom and I to spend time together, get fresh air and exercise, and it was free. Most importantly it drove my creativity and resourcefulness and it's a cherished memory that will last a lifetime.
Fast forward to today and everything is commercialized and it needs to stop. Do you know I went to the grocery store at 6am on the day OF Halloween and they already had up all their Christmas decorations? Don't you agree that everything was much more magical when the stores waited until after Thanksgiving to deck the halls. You know what's crazy? I bet we start seeing Valentine's Day candy the 1st of January. What kind of crazy is this?
I will be the first to tell you that I LOVE gifts. I especially love searching for and giving the perfect gift. If I ever give you gift, know that means a lot. But what about gifts that we can create? What about the homemade cards, notes, and Cornucopias? Why do we have to buy everything? What happened to walking and noticing a flower and picking it for the one you love? What happened to looking for the shapes in clouds? What happened to handwritten letters? Sometimes I think technology has gone to far. You know what? I miss the days of only have a home phone. I really hate being so connected to my phone.
So why do we stand for it? Why have we allowed ourselves to stop being noticers? I'd love to you to share what you stop to take time to notice today.
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